I was awakened to a text from an unknown, Ohio number at 7:38 am this morning. The following conversation then ensued:
Random 513 area code number that I don't recognize: You're a dork. Lol. Hope you're doing well. Have a good holiday!
Me: I'm a dork who got a new phone, so unfortunately I don't have your number programmed in. At the risk of sounding rude, who is this?
Random 513 area code number that I don't recognize: Ha. Aw, it's your sexy friend from Cincinnati. :) Remember the hot drunken sex? Lol.
Me: Um...I don't think I've ever been to Cincinnati.
Random 513 area code number that I don't recognize: Ha. Nope. I was there. We had buckets of beer. Come on! You forgot? Lol. Now that's rude. Ha!
Me: I'm really drawing a blank. I'm sorry.
Random 513 area code number that I don't recognize: Forget it then.
Me: Uh, okay.
Random 513 area code number that I don't recognize: Man whore.
Me: I am or you are?
Random 513 area code number that I don't recognize: You are. Since you can't remember! Ha!
Me: But I'm not even a man! Are you sure you have the right person?
Random 513 area code number that I don't recognize: Hm. Maybe not. Lol. Nevermind! Sorry.
Me: Not a problem. Happy holidays to you!
Just a little bit of advice, folks: if you're going to wish someone happy holidays, perhaps you should give them the ultimate holiday gift of sleeping in and forgo texting them before 8:00 am. Also, you might want to be a little more diligent when it comes to writing down the numbers of folks you're shared beer and sexy time with. One other tip: stop with the LOL usage already. Number one, it's annoying. Number two, I have a hard time believing someone would actually be laughing out loud as their hook-up partner fails to remember who they are.
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