Sunday, January 31, 2010

Laughter and Screams

My return to Michigan started with seeing Mr. Perfection Personified, Joey McIntyre, perform at the Magic Bag. The concert featured a guest rap by a male fan, a strip tease by Joey and a slowed-down rendition of “Cover Girl.” Fellow concert-goers were also treated to multiple screams by yours truly.

About to enter my happy place.

Joe hoping not to pop a blood vessel.

A shot from his encore.

My first feature show in 2010 was at Jack’s in Spring Lake, Michigan. There, I worked with Davin.

And got to see my name in blinking lights.

The show was packed, and the crowd was lubricated. This is a nice combination for laughter…and awkward heckles. When I started the show, I attempted to talk to the crowd. As is standard, I asked if any of the audience members were celebrating anything. One woman in the front loudly proclaimed, “I don’t have AIDS.”

As you can imagine, that brought the show to a screeching halt. I try to roll with it, and I even congratulated her, but she seemed fairly AIDS-obsessed. In fact, when I did a bit about living at home, with my parents, she attempted to cheer me up. “At least you don’t have AIDS,” she consoled.


Perhaps I should use this as a mantra. Perhaps everyone should. And if you’re feeing particularly creative, switch up the STD.

For instance, if you get dumped by your boy/girlfriend, you can tell yourself (with loving kindness, of course), “At least you don’t have Chlamydia.”

Well, I suppose this will work as long as Tiger Woods isn’t said ex-boyfriend.

That weekend, I worked with my good friend, Steve Sabo, at the Comedy Room in Wyandotte, Michigan. Combine this with no major heckles and top-notch Italian food, and you’ve got yourself a pretty awesome night.

Steve’s a. pre-show game face, b. pre-show constipation face or c. both.

Char and Kenny, the lovely folks who help run the room.

Steve and me (along with super funny Jordan Jones, who MCed the show…and treated us to some of his funk-o-licious dancing).

This past week, I performed in Gaylord, Michigan with my friend, Sal Demilio.

Yes, in case you’re wondering, the blazer/black shirt combination has been making a lot of appearances as of late.

Despite there being a massive blizzard, the audience that showed up was small, but mighty. We had a great time, and we even met audience member, Dave, after the show.

I could have done without the weather on the way home though.

A view from I-75. Nothing says, "Welcome back!" like a huge blizzard and threats to put your car in the ditch. Thanks, Michigan!

But, alas, I made it home and then performed at Chaplin’s Comedy Club that weekend.

There, I met Chad Miller and Amaru. Both extremely funny and great guys!

The shows were fun, although I think the last one was sponsored by as a woman in the front (who was on a self-described “blind date”) got a call from her husband during the show. Hilarity then ensued.

In summary, it’s great to be back on stage, nice to be in the Midwest and fantastic to be screaming my lungs out at Joe Mac shows!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


As we begin 2010, I suppose it’s appropriate to write a year-in-review post about 2009. I suppose it’s inappropriate to write such a post in mid-January, but what can I say? I was dodging snowballs and ice storms…and trying to help animals in the process. Real animals, not drunken hecklers at one-nighters. Although I did try to help a few of those too – by trying to make them laugh while simultaneously teaching them that shouting “show your knockers” is not commonly thought to be socially acceptable behavior.

2009 was definitely a full year! It started with packing everything I own into a Honda Civic:

I didn’t actually go anywhere; instead, I just packed up the ol’ girl because I was bored, and I wanted to see how much she could fit.

I kid, I kid. Actually, she and I moved to Virginia to work for PETA. Well, I worked for PETA. She stayed at home to watch my place (and I better not hear about her throwing any wild parties).

I also:

-Lost the 35 pounds I gained in 2008 (and kept in off! Yee-haw!)

-Conducted a lot of demonstrations on behalf of animals (some of my faves are pictured)

-Told a lot of jokes

-Got to see my name in lights for the first time

-Was on tv – telling jokes and sticking up for animals (not at the same time though)

-Survived some hurricanes

-Participated in my first race (an endurance-testing one mile)

-Met the NKOTB (after waiting TWENTY LONG YEARS)

-Did my first naked protest

-Advanced in the California’s Funniest Female Comedy Contest

-Met some amazing people in Virginia (and got to visit some pretty gosh darn amazing people in other states)

Throughout this past year, I also traveled like a mofo. In just a year, I went to the following places:

British Columbia
Nova Scotia
New Brunswick

United States:
New Jersey
New York
North Carolina
Rhode Island
South Carolina
Washington DC
West Virginia

P.S. I think I got jetlagged just making that list.

To say 2009 was filled with a lot of excitement would probably be an understatement. It was also filled with many laughs and many learning experiences. It wasn’t nearly as sleep-filled as I had hoped, but, I suppose I can sleep when I’m dead. Or when I’m being made to watch football or Twilight.