Christmas 2016

To those who celebrate, I hope you had a lovely Christmas.



When I woke up, I found that Santa was very good to me. Who knew he was a blockhead?


My favorite drag queen even gave me a gift.



If you don't know Coco, I highly recommend that you go ahead and watch this:


The morning then progressed to me eating my weight in these:

If you'd like the recipe for these little slices of heaven, it's here.

I then posed for more pictures of this ball of cuteness than I care to admit.


Oh, how he humors me.

And, I did pose for some pictures with humans as well.





Matching outfits and musical laps for the win.

Car accidents and negative temperatures

Vegan maple cookies are good. Really good. Want to know how I know this?

Because they cause car accidents.

On Thursday, Keith Lenart, and I started on a run of Michigan's upper peninsula, Wisconsin, and Minnesota. We were about two hours into our drive when the weather started to get bad.

After driving through some fairly heavy snow, we pulled off into a rest area. As we were leaving, we were discussing said cookies, and Keith tried to grab one out of the box I was holding. Unfortunately, he took his eyes off the road just long enough to veer into a snowbank.

We laughed about the accident, and counted our lucky stars because the car ended up right between a tree and a road sign stake.

Then, we realized how badly we were stuck. We also realized that the bumper was lying in the snowbank.

Gulp.

The windshield and the offending cookies, which went flying upon impact with the snowbank.

So, we attempted to rock and push the car out. We had a bit of luck at first, but then it wouldn't budge.

At this point, two guys, who clearly took pity on the pathetic downstate residents who were walking around in two feet of snow in Converse, began to help us. For forty-five minutes, we pushed, swore, pushed, swore, pushed, got mud kicked up on us, and swore some more before finally giving up and admitting that we needed to call a tow truck.

Not wanting to spend the money on a truck, we decided to give it one last go.

I closed my eyes and cross my fingers, and Keith gunned it!

I couldn't believe, but the plan worked. We were in the clear!

Or, so we thought.

During our cheers, one of our helpers quickly pointed out that Keith now had a flat tire. Since we hadn't seen much civilization behind us, we feared we were in the middle of no were.

Thankfully, when I checked my phone, we ended up being right near the town of Grayling. Even better? We were a mile away from the exit.

Here's where we were stuck:


When we pulled off in Grayling, Keith popped into a gas station, and the employee told us there was a tire place right on the corner.

Just as we turned into the tire place, they were closing. We quickly got out of the car. and begged them to stay open just a bit longer so they could look at our tire.

Thankfully, they obliged. While they fixed the tire, we tied Keith's bumper back on.

Bang-up job, no?

They ended up fixing the tire for $15, and we were on our way.

We drove in near white out conditions all the way to Sault Ste. Marie, and I don't think I've ever been so afraid in my entire life. I had truly never driven in such awful conditions.

Somehow, as if the stars aligned from the universe, we made it to the show with five minutes to spare.

Phew. Major bullet dodged.

The show was a lot of fun, but I was too tired from being flustered all day to get any pictures.

The next day, we drove to La Crosse in equal amounts of blizzards.

Thus, a black bean burger with avocado was in order to combat the stress of driving for eight hours in such conditions.

Just what the doctor ordered!

After La Crosse, we drove to Sauk Rapids where the temperature was -15! I felt pain in parts of my body that I didn't even know existed.


After the show (where I saw a woman, who was wearing a short-sleeve t-shirt, outside smoking - now, that's a commitment to nicotine!), I thought the weather couldn't get much colder. But, nope, I was wrong! In the morning, we woke up to this:

Actual temperature. I think it was -50 with the windchill!

On Wednesday, I had another show in Minnesota (this time in Windom). And I experienced a first:

Hotels rooms with attached garages.

I've been on the road for quite some time, and I've experienced everything from ultra fancy hotel rooms (complete with mini-bars and robes) to crappy motel rooms that don't even have deadbolts.

At first, the idea seemed kind of bizarre, and then I realized, it was brilliant! Unloading my car without having to deal with the cold? Yes, please!





In Windom, I got to work with Rob Brackenridge, who is an absolute delight!

The first time I met him, we worked together in the Outer Banks, North Carolina. During our week-long gig, we spent the first couple days paddling around in kayaks, and the last couple days dodging a hurricane.

After this trip, I think I much prefer hurricanes to blizzards. At least, they're warm!

Thanksgiving and Florida

On Thanksgiving, I got picked up from the airport and immediately got to work cooking stuffing my face. This was this year's vegan feast:

We didn't go quite as overboard as in previous years as I wasn't home for most of Thanksgiving, and I also had to catch a plane the next day and didn't want to be bloated for the entire ride.

However, this pie would've been worth it:

Friday morning, I boarded a plane to Fort Myers to work at the Laugh In Comedy Cafe. One of the coolest parts about working here is that rather than a hotel, you actually stay on a yacht!

Playing captain for the day.

I opened for my good buddy, Steve Sabo, and we had a blast!

Telling jokes or channeling spirits?

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

After Fort Myers, I headed up to Orlando for a couple of days. I took a bus from Fort Myers to Tampa, hung out in a pretty train station (pictured below), and then took Amtrak to Orlando.

I stayed in the cutest little bed and breakfast! It was pretty, really close to downtown, and featured a complimentary cocktail hour (yes, please!). Some pictures:

I also got to pretend this was my porch for a couple days:

My room (pictured) was located in the oldest building in all of Orlando.

I may or may not have spent half my time there praying that it wasn't haunted.

It was definitely great to be in the warm weather for a few more days. When I wasn't closing my eyes and pretending not to see ghosts, I checked out downtown Orlando for a while. I'd been to Disney World before, but the downtown was new for me. I love the excitement downtowns have to offer, and the sunshine certainly made it even better!


Going back to the snow is so not going to be easy.

Last days in Maui

I spent my last days in Maui eating entirely too much food. During the first part of my trip, I tried to save money (since food in Hawaii is so expensive) by buying food at the grocery store and using my hotel room's microwave and refrigerator. I even got a Foodland savings card, and felt like a local when I went in there (I'm sure everything else about me gave away that I was not). Plus, I'm also that person who totally brings an entire dish set in their checked luggage.

But, I looked up some rather inexpensive, vegan-friendly places, and I decided to try them. One of my first finds was brownies at Joy's Place.

So delicious! And even better once I removed the plastic wrap.

My other find was a place called Fork & Salad. It was a build-your-own-salad place, and they had so many fresh and tasty ingredients from which to choose. I may or may not have gone back the next day, too.

Chickens everywhere in Maui! This guy was outside of Fork & Salad.

I also spent quite a bit of time on the beach. How can you not enjoy looking up at this?


I also creepily took videos of strangers.

How fun does that look?!

One of my the coolest parts of my trip was when I got to do stand-up! Since one of my goals is to perform in all 50 states, I looked online and found an open mic. Before heading that way, I met up with my new plane friend, John (the gentleman, also traveling by himself, who sat next to me on the plane), and we grabbed some dinner.

John decided to accompany me to the open mic, and we headed over to Nalu's. I'm pretty sure we were the only folks there who didn't know each other. Luckily, all of the Maui comics were really nice and welcoming. Chuck, the MC/organizer of the open mic, was so kind and invited me to come back any time I'd like. Sadly, I told him I had to leave the next day.

Blurrily telling jokes.

I had a lot of fun during my set, and I'm pretty sure it's the first time I've ever showed both arms and ankles on stage.

The show also presented one of the most unique moments in comedy I've ever experienced. Everything is open in most venues in Maui, so doors are not generally required to enter an establishment. So, while one of the comics was performing, out of nowhere, another guy entered from the parking lot, rushed the stage, and chucked a salad at the comic!

And, then, like nothing happened, he immediately left.

Instead of a drive-by shooting, it was like a walk-by salading. So strange!

Nobody at the mic seemed to know who the guy who, nor why he did such a thing.

I immediately had flashbacks to Fozzie Bear getting tomatoes thrown at him. I thought that was a myth! But, now I realize that produce does indeed get thrown at comics.

The comic who was performing handled the moment beautifully, and used it as an opportunity to bust out easily 3 minutes worth of vegetable jokes! Wow, who knew that someone other than Gaffigan even has that?! I was quite impressed.

I am happy to report, there was no more salad-throwing for the rest of the night.

Before heading to the airport on my last day, I decided to head back to Hookipa Lookout to watch surfers. You can't tell from the looks of this picture, but there were so many (I'm sure they just look like little specks here)!



I was blown away by how easy they made it look. If I weren't such a 'fraidy cat when it comes to physical danger, one day, I might even try to find it.

As I was leaving the Lookout, I spotted a rainbow.



A beautiful end to a beautiful and relaxing trip.

Running on Maui

On Sunday, I decided to get up bright and early to run the Sun, Surf & Hoops 5K. I figured that I might as well take advantage of my body still not being adjusted to the time difference (Hello, body waking me up at 3 AM!) and do something productive.

Since deciding to go back to law school, my running went all to crap. During my first semester of school, I ran a half marathon. By the time I graduated, I would be lucky if I could pant my way through a mile. So, after I graduated, I was determined to get back into running. I did the Super Hero 5K and followed it up with a 10K in Iceland. I also tried to chip my way through the Couch-to-5K program.

So, when it was still dark out, I piled in my car and drove to the race starting point. The race took place in Lahaina, which is about a forty-five minute drive from my hotel. I made it in plenty of time, and I may have even been the first person there. I picked up my free t-shirt and looked for a close place to park. I always find it amusing how I'm willing to run 3.1 miles, but I am not willing to park anywhere that requires even the slightest amount of walking.

I started to get nervous that I hadn't prepared enough. First, the race was small, meaning, it became harder and harder to give myself  the 'there are thousands of people here, so you can't be last!' pep talk. And, I immediately had flashbacks to the time I finished second to last in Wisconsin. Second, I was nervous because people are fit in Hawaii! As more runners showed up, I quickly realized this wasn't like any Michigan race I had been in (where I've literally scene people, pushing strollers - and not even jogging strollers - while talking on the phone and sipping Starbucks). These people were serious!

I tried to calm myself down, and repeatedly told myself I can only do my best.

Thumbs up for trying not to be last!

Group shot.

During the race, I found a woman whose pace I quite enjoyed. Well, quite enjoyed might not be the right term, as I don't quite enjoy huffing and puffing and wanting to cough up phlegm while gasping for air. But, I could keep up with her without feeling like complete death. So, I trailed her nearly the entire race (P.S. my apologies to her as I'm sure listening to me breathe was something she could have done without).

Not too shabby view along the course.

Despite the humidity making my lungs feel like they were going to burst, I was impressed by how quickly the race seemed to go. Sometimes I feel like the finish line seems worlds away. But, with this race, I listened to my music, focused on the vibration of my feet hitting the pavement, and just enjoyed the amazing scenery.



My time wasn't anything to write home about (far from it, actually), but I was proud of myself for finishing. After the race, I hit the beach for the rest of the day.

Full of beer.

Swap meets and hot weather ice sculpting

On my fifth day in Hawaii, I decided to check out the Maui Swap Meet. I had read about it in my tourist books, and it promised 200 vendors for the admission price of 50 cents.

"Who doesn't love cheap fun?" I thought to myself as I paid my admission and headed in. I was struck by the vast number of things being sold: woven bracelets in one booth, fresh fruits and veggies in the next, clothing, glass, art, all kinds of things.

I looked around for a while before scoring some really cheap avocados and oranges.

And then I stumbled upon a taco place that sold vegan tacos. It called itself Taco Maui 8 Wonder, and I figured it had to be good. I haven't yet seen the pyramids, but if I can eat a taco and knock off one of the wonders of the world, I figured I must.

The tacos certainly did not disappoint! So delicious! I even met the owner, and we chatted about tacos, and travel, and Hawaii for a while.

I then headed over to watch an ice sculpting competition. Yes, you read that correctly: ice sculpting in 86 degree weather (AKA the 'work your butt off on something that lasts five minutes" contest). Despite the ice melting rather quickly, I was amazed by what one can do with a chain saw and some ice. Their creations were beautiful, and the level of detail was nothing short of massively impressive.





After watching the ice sculptors, I went to a hula show because I figured I couldn't leave Hawaii without watching one of those. The show featured dancers of all genders and ages. There were kids who looked to be about four years old, and there were older dancers who could have easily been 60. I believe the shows are put on by a community organization that is dedicated to teaching traditional Hawaiian dance and culture. They were fantastic to watch!



I then headed home (man, I'm getting used to saying that) where I may or may not have eaten all of the avocados I purchased.