America's Got Talent

A few days ago, my friend (and fellow comic) Keith Lenart, told me that America's Got Talent was holding a mass audition in Chicago.  Since it was on the way home from Decatur, I thought, "why the heck not at least stop by?"

So that is indeed what I did.

I picked up my number.

Filled out a bit of paperwork, and headed into the room filled with hundreds of other performers.

Once in there, I quickly realized the show should be renamed America's Got a Craptop of People Who Think They Can Sing.  I felt like I was at a giant Glee audition...that is, if everyone trying-out was a junior high school choir-reject. 

I did see some interesting performers though: a four-year-old break dancer (who was so cute that I actually contemplated kidnapped him), a giant cat puppet that coughed up a giant hairball, acrobats, a Michael Jackson impersonator (who kind of resembled an old, creepy child molester; perhaps he had similar feelings with regard to the break dancer) and a sword-juggler.

I waited for nearly five hours before I got my 90 seconds in front of the producer.  In that time, I ran into several comics I know (the always funny and super nice, Warren B. Hall, who you can see in the above picture, up-and-coming comic Nate Armbruster and as previously mentioned, Keith).  So while the wait was long, we definitely kept ourselves entertained (mostly by playing the game "which one of these 'talents' would you least want to be stuck in a room with?").

When I finally got my chance in front of the producer, I think it went well in that I had a good set and he laughed at my jokes.  But, who knows with these things?  I mentioned both an STD and crystal meth during my set, so I'm not sure that my act is exactly tv-friendly. 

Overall, it was a fun experience, and if I get a call-back, great. And if not, at least I can say I've seen a toddler who can do the worm.